Tough choices

Sometimes in life we come across situations that make us think really hard about what to do next. There are decisions to be made even though none of the possibilities is easy. There are choices that keep you in your comfort zone with nothing to loose but nothing to gain as well. Other choices, on the contrary, oblige you to be more exposed, not in your comfort zone anymore, with the chance of loosing various things you like but the opportunity of achieving something you love and something you've ever dreamed of. The real questions are how much effort are you willing to put into it and what will you do if you fail along the way. When moments like these come be sure which path you want to take and make everything you can to succeed whichever your choice is.

What exactly is true love?

As far as I can tell, true love is the strangest and yet the greatest force in the world. However, it isn't all flowers and rainbows and happiness but it doesn't mean it's all sad and blue.True love is about finding your happiness in someone's happiness and having that someone finding their happiness in your happiness as well. I know this may seem a little confuse but when you truly love someone and that someone truly loves you, the two of you become one. From that moment on, it's impossible not to feel happy or sad when he/she is happy or sad and not to want the best for each other. True love is not belonging to someone but with someone. It's feeling that person is your home and feeling that there's no other place in the world you fit in so perfectly. It's not being afraid of being yourself and letting them see who you really are, with all your qualities and flaws. It's feeling like you can share all your silly secrets with that someone and know they'll make fun of you without judging, only laughing. It's communicating without saying much, or even a word, and finding comfort in every single smile. It's in the most simple things in life. It's in believing and in having faith in one another's love.

Be love(d)

There comes a time when you feel confident, strong and happy. A time that doesn't allow you to cry or frown. A time that gives you every reason in the world to smile. And that's when you've come to a place where you know nothing about who you are or what you're doing, the place where all you are is who you love.

Uniqueness

Nobody's perfect. And no matter how hard you try, you'll never be perfect. However, as no one is, we can't criticize each other for our flaws. It is not right. Not right for me, not right for you, and it shouldn't be right for anyone. We don't have the right to oblige someone to change, just because they're not perfect to us. And we also can't point our finger at them for being them because nowadays it's rare to find someone that stays true to himself, that doesn't change for anyone. And being rare, being different, well, it's definitely good.

Reality

Have you ever had a dream you couldn't distinguish from reality? Like reality and fantasy were linked in such a way you didn't realize what was and what wasn't real. As if you felt like your reality was too good to be true and yet it was too real to be a dream. How can you be sure about what's real and what's not? You might actually be dreaming right now and believe this is real while this can be just your imagination wandering. 

Actually, what is reality about?

Hurt

Do you know those moments you feel you're about to break down? Those moments when you're smiling and still you can feel tears streaming down your face? As if there was a storm raging inside your head, like your world was turned inside out and you can't put yourself back together. You're broken and nothing in the world could possibly fix you because you're hurt in such way nobody can solve it. Like an impossible equation, no matter how hard you try, you can't find a solution. 

Pride

The wind is blowing. I'm sat here, on the roof of this empty house, watching this empty street. Every little thing seems so calm and peaceful and sometimes people walk by and wave at each other. And apparently there's not too much going on. But there are some people whose life isn't as simple as it may seem. They get hurt, they cry. They fight for better opportunities, for a better life, for change. And, no matter how things get worse, they keep positive and they keep their struggle.

And that's something to be really proud of, never giving up.

Soulmate

I sometimes really wish we could just get lost. We could run away and hide from the world. I'd tell you all you need to know about me and you'd tell me all I need to know about you. We'd keep our secrets, our mystery and our magic. You'd stare into my eyes and I'd look away. You'd chase me and I'd let you catch me so that I could rest in your arms for a while and we'd smile because we'd know we're made for each other. We'd hug, we'd fight and then we'd kiss under the moonlight. We'd be happy and free. I'd let you be you and you'd let me be me. You'd make me laugh and sometimes I'd make you cry. We'd go through our ups and downs and we'd respect our differences, our silences and our distances and yet we'd be as close as two souls can be. And if we got away, just the two of us, we'd lay under the stars imagining what we could do or see. And we'd vanish inside our kiss as happy as we could ever be.

The best memory

You wake up in the morning. His smell still lingers on your skin and on your hair. Wherever and whatever you look at, you can see him there and all these memories pop up in your mind. When you first met, on Starbucks, and how many times you apologized for spilling your coffee on his shirt. Back then you already knew you two could be perfect together. You still remember how you two used to meet there, at the same hour, in the same table, everyday. You talked so much, you shared all that you could share with him and so did him with you. You still remember your first kiss when you walked against each other on the street. It was raining heavily and you fell on the floor. As he picked you up, you got closer, and closer. Without noticing, you two were kissing, in the pouring rain. And, with the shyest smile, he asked you to be his girl. All you could say was 'I've been your girl for a long time!' and he smiled and kissed you again. Days, months, years would go by and you two were stronger and stronger and so was your love. One day he picked you up at the university and you drove 3 hours. When your mind stopped wandering you realized you were at this amazing beach. And as you looked around, amazed by the beauty of the beach, you found him, knelt on the sand, with this tiny box on his hand, asking you to marry him. You didn't even had to say yes, he could read it in your smile and in the way you kissed him right away. Everyday, after university, he would pick you up and you would go to that beach that meant so much to you two. But one day he didn't come. Time started to pass slowly and slower at each second that went by. You were desperate because he wouldn't pick up your calls. One hour later you received a call from the police. Your love was in the hospital, he had had an accident and he was really injured. You ran 3 miles to get to the hospital but when you got there, there was nothing left to do. They tried everything to keep him alive but it was hopeless. And now you're in your bedroom, which used to be yours and his. You can't help nor hold back the tears that are streaming down your face. Every little memory of him makes you cry even more. Suddenly, someone knocks the door. It's your baby boy. You found out you were pregnant a few days after your one and only love's death. 'Mummy, what's wrong? Why are you crying?' he asks, running to your arms and hugging you. 'I miss your dad, baby' you answer and you try to stop crying because you don't want your son to see you like that. 'Oh mummy, he's up there, watching us, don't worry. I'll be your man!' he says, trying to make you smile. And you do, because he's just like his father and he's the best memory you could ever keep from him.

When I first saw you

I miss those warm days when, even though it wasn't summer or spring, I could feel the sunlight in my face. The sun, my sun, was no longer in the sky. It was staring right in front of me, full of light and life. And I bet you have no idea of how much you influence me, you are my sun, the only one who can make me smile like every single thing that the world has that can be bad or that can make me mad disappear. And there's just no way you can fade. And trust me, I know it from the way my heart skips a beat when you're around, from the way I feel anxious and how the butterflies fly in my stomach when I see you across the room. There are just no words to describe how deeply in love I fell for you, when I first saw you.

Change

Throughout our lives, we change. In several situations we are forced to face new realities and we grow into someone else. We're not who we used to be and we're probably and most certainly not who we're going to be. There are some things that never change, that's true. But we will never stay the same for too long. And we can't help it. We can't keep ourselves away from what's going on out there, we need to go there and face it. Face the world and let it change us. But always bear in mind, we are who we want to be. 

So lets change, but lets change for good.

What if these walls could talk?

What if these walls could talk? Would they tell our stories to the world? Like those times when we'd fight about the silliest stuff and how many tables you broke just because you knew I'd laugh and we'd stop arguing. Or even when we'd stay up all night talking about what we had in common or about whatever showed up on our minds. Would they explain how we managed to stay together despite our many differences? Would they tell how much love we put into our relationship and how we made it work? Because they know what we went through, they know it was me and you against the world. And we always found our way back to each other's arms, didn't we? But what would they be able to say, if they could? I wonder if they would be able to express our happiness and all our beautiful feelings because it was on those feelings that our love was based, it was based on who we were with each other and how great we felt when we were together, how we were the perfect match. And are we still? When we die our souls get free, don't they? So, would these walls tell where our love went and how intertwined our souls are? Love is patient and our love is strong and not even death would throw it away. 

Because what we felt and still feel is true love and true love always remains.

Sunrise, sunrise

Sunrise, sunrise. The rain is falling outside. The first rays of light appear and I'm cold. It's cold. You hold me. Your arms around mine and your chin laying softly on my shoulder. By now we'll sleep, you'll lie down with me and you'll hold me tight, as you always do when this happens. You'll tell me you love me, as many times as you can, you know how hurt I am. And we'll fall into a deep sleep, we'll dream of us, out there, in a place where we can be free. Somewhere far, far away from all this mess that keeps happening to us. We'll be far away, under this rainbow that's starting to appear. 

After all there's always a rainbow at the end of every storm.

Pure love

It's a cold night but still we feel the heat in our hearts. And, trust me, I could spend days, nights, whole weeks and months, here, with you. After all, there's no other place where I could ever fit in. I belong to and with you. I guess that's obvious. I mean, look at us, here, now. We're laying in the yard, looking up at the stars that start to fade as the time goes by and that completely vanish when it's dawning. Once again we spent the night talking about our past, present and future, about all the stupid things that were in our heads and now you know all my secrets and I know yours. I just love how we can communicate without saying too much or without using too many words, how we read each other's minds and complete each other's sentences. I love how we make plans that will possibly never come true and how we still believe in them with all we are because we are confident about our love, we have faith in us. And this night that has just come to an end, we were ourselves, because that's what we are when we're with each other, we're the most we we could possibly be. 

And that's pure love.

Not alone

It's tough isn't it? You protect yourself so much and don't let anyone come close to you. You've been down, left behind so many times, you just got scared didn't you? You're just so afraid of getting hurt again that the only way you found to protect yourself was to stop falling in love. After all, who doesn't love, doesn't get hurt. But at the same time it is making your life useless and disappointing. The days go right through you and nothing changes. You feel sad and probably you're worse than you ever were before. But the worst part of it is feeling lonely. But you are not alone.

I am here for you.

Fix us

Can you please hold me like you did before? Hold me tight, as if you're afraid of loosing me. You told me you are, I know you are. But I fear you're about to loose me. I don't feel you here like I used to. The days aren't as warm as they were, the sweetness, the spiciness, all those different flavours our relationship had have become tasteless. And now I feel cold inside your arms. Our love is no longer the same. I have no idea about what happened to us. We used to be so strong but now you're so close the distance seems bigger and I feel so far away from you, like I've never felt before. But I still love you and I pray that somehow we can still find our ways back into each others arms, minds and hearts.

Failed attempts

I tried, and trust me, I don't want to live a life filled with fears and regrets and I tried not to. I tried to find happiness with you and you know it. But it failed, it went to waste as it always goes. As they say "You'll never know if you never try.", but what will I try for? If I'd want to hurt myself I'd jump of a cliff, punch a wall or even a mirror, I wouldn't try to fall in love just to fall out of it, time after time. Falling in love is easy but being happy with it is way too hard for me to get it right. For us to get it right. Or at least for what we could have been. And now all I can do is regret I met you, regret I let you come closer to me, regret letting you in with no intention of kicking you out. Wish I could do it though. Wish I could open my heart's door and put you out, in the rain, feeling the way I feel right now. Wish my absence would hurt you as much as yours hurts me.

No you

Looking up to the sky

Noticing how the stars shine

Because even up there they can see

That I'm yours

And you are mine.

And I love how the clouds up there

Look like the waves in the sea,

It makes me picture us in the sand

You, right next to me.

But time gets slower

Because you're so so far

And my heart beats faster

Just wish I knew where you are.

And all life keeps on stand-by

Without you here

There's no reason to look up to the sky

Because no dream will be fulfilled

If it includes a "you and I".

Possibilities

I think you could be perfect for me. And I know I don't know you enough to say this but I really think we could be exactly what we need, someone to love and to trust and believe in. And I can tell this by the way I feel whenever I'm with you, whenever I see your face or hear your voice. It won't be easy, I'm a messy person and I'll bring a lot of trouble to your life, I'll break up with you a thousand times and I'll yell at you 24/7 and I'll need you to be strong for the two of us. But I'll try my best and do the impossible to make this work out, to make us work out. Because honestly I've been hurt enough to take the risk on something I'm positive won't work out. So be brave if you feel the same way I do because I can't just let myself love you with all I am just to get broken once more. And if you're not willing to take the shot, then don't.

No one ever will

I'm just drunk

And I'm not sure what I'll say,

I just love when you hold me close

And promise me you'll stay.

The way those beautiful eyes

Lay softly on my skin

And waking to the sound of your voice

To the image of you, holding a bottle of gin.

All the words, the thoughts,

All the things left unsaid remain on my mind.

I felt so good and free with you...

Why can't I just rewind?

Please, take me back to those days

When love was all I could feel

Because it hurts even more

Knowing the way I love you, no one ever will.

Perfect equation

I've never figured out what we had that kept us together. I've never understood how the stars cross each other's ways in such a strange way. How science defines us. "The opposites are attracted to each other" and maybe that's why there is an "us" because, to be honest, we couldn't be more different. And maybe that's what keeps what we have interesting, finding more incompatibilities that make us the perfect match because you complete me like a chemical reaction, an implosion of feelings that not even science can explain because we can make anything become love. We're like the perfect equation no one could ever define the solution. Because me plus you equals infinity.

Believing

As we grow we're taught not to believe in the impossible because it never happens. We're given several reasons not to believe that that one chance in a million will ever be ours. We're taught to accept the normal standards of today's society. But I'm glad we said no, glad we didn't settled down with this, glad we crossed the boundaries, went off limits and found each other. I'm glad I found my one in a million and although the odds may not always be in our favour I believe in our impossible because after all, no matter how many miles apart, we still look at the same sky.

Spring

After the long winter of pain, the spring is finally arriving. You can already feel the scent of the flowers in the air and the sun is appearing behind some clouds that are slowly going away. Everything will be so much better now. The hurt you used to feel is going to disappear, the new fresh breeze promises to heal your wounded heart. It brings the hope that new days, new warmer days, will arrive and you'll be okay, you'll be happier, you'll be the old you again. The cold stormy winter has already gone by, it seemed like ages, I know. But it's over now and it will take a lot until it comes back again. Don't worry. You'll be alright in the end. "Happy ever afters" exist. And you'll have one.

Love remains

I hate waking up because every single day gets a little harder. And it's already hard enough, trust me. Knowing I'll never have you as I did, although it wasn't enough sometimes. But going out every day, walking the paths I used to walk alongside with you, going over your place, knocking the door knowing no one will ever open it again. Waiting for the never coming messages, calls, letters, e-mails. Waiting for anything at all. For a sign. Because faith doesn't go away when fate demands it to. Faith replaces the place where reality should be. Sometimes I wish we could just accept the facts, with no questioning. I wish facts would have no consequences. I wish your absence wouldn't hurt me as much as it does. I just wanted to be sure that you'd always be here. Physically as well. But in life, people come and go. Memories remain. And with my eyes filled with tears, I'll always remember you, as the love of my life, as the owner of my heart. 

I love you.

Destiny

I know we've just met but there are many things in life we will never be capable to explain nor to understand. What I mean is that we can't decide whether it's right or wrong and we're unable to stop feeling the way we do, feeling like we've known each other for ages, feeling that we were meant to be together, that fate chose this. From the beginning we were destined to be side by side and it's not in our hands to decide our future, although sometimes we may think it is. But it's our job not to run away from it so, please, stay. Just for now, stay with me.

Come clean

We fight 24/7, we promise ourselves not to talk to each other ever again and we let pride take advantage of us. But we miss each other too much and we break the promises we keep making. And we're not happy, well, not fully happy because we don't have the courage to be so. It takes a lot of courage to be happy, to admit what we want, when we want it. And although we're not "together together" we're so much more than just friends. You're the one I run to when I'm scared and I'm the one you tell your dreams to and even when we fight we eventually crawl back into each other's arms because that's the only place where it feels like home. And I've never had the nerve to even try to be happy but that's something I have to work on so allow me to say this, before I regret it: I want you, I love you. I've loved you all along and I know you love me too.

Prince(ss)

Every girl dreams of her own love story with a white knight in a white horse coming to rescue her and allow her to have that "so desired" happy ending. Some girls have their dream fulfilled in the blink of an eye even though the armors and the white horses may not be in sight. But you're not like those girls, you belong to the group of girls who are still waiting for the plot to twist, for their own prince to arrive, for the love to flourish or for the distance to vanish. What you don't know is that you may have to wait a lot more, you may have to kiss lots of frogs before you one turns into your prince and he might be a knight a lot darker than what you expected but still you'll love him with all you are and so will he. And what you must really bear in mind is that the never ending search has an end and you should never ever ever give up on your dream because he's still out there and he's coming to rescue you.

To-get-her

It's painful, isn't it? When everything is going alright, even more than alright, and, all of sudden, he has to leave. And everything inside your chest clenches in such a disgraceful yet tender way due to either the certainty of your feelings and the uncertainty of the future. You can expect your feelings not to change but when it comes to the future you simply can't expect anything, you can do nothing apart from waiting but waiting can be so unsettling and exasperating and the void inside you is so excruciating it tears your heart into pieces. You miss him so bad...and all you want is proximity. You want not to be just closer but to be close enough, close enough to feel his warmth, to see his smile and know you're the reason, to touch him and know it's not just a dream. You want to be close enough to be "together". Close enough to make sure nothing has changed.

Now you know

He's never met anyone like you before and that's what he loves the most, knowing you're the first girl who's able to make him feel like this, you're the first girl he's ever loved. He never thought he would be able to feel the butterflies in his stomach, that feeling that you know him better than anyone ever will, that you can sense how he's feeling from a distance and that you're just like a part of himself. And the best part of it is that he feels the same way for you, even though it was hard for him to admit it he just knew he had to get you, he knew the effect he had on you, like your whole world shifted when he was around. He had that effect on you and you, well... you turned his world upside down. He always used to control everything and now there's nothing he can control about you. You're a wild soul. And probably that's what he loves the most. He was used to get everything he wanted but you? You were a challenge. You still are. And even though you're a challenge he doesn't play you. He fixes you. He fixes everything that's wrong. He saved your life and even though you have no idea, you saved his. And that's the only thing about him you didn't know. But now you do.

Challenging Love

I'm a morning person, you like to sleep until noon. You like cats, dogs are my best friends. I love watching the sunrise, you prefer the sunset. You love movies, I love books. Every time I try to bring you to the light, you pull me into darkness. And with all these differences, all these opposites, all the things we disagree and argue and fight about, there's love. There's a very thin line between hate and love and we could easily hate each other but we care. Caring makes us go further and cross that line, makes us take the challenge that is love. And our love is the hardest challenge when there's only one thing we both agree on: to fight for it.

Shine on

This morning when I woke I could still feel your heat warming me up. It's as if you've spent the night here. But I know that's not possible. I know you'll never hold me like you once did and I'll never taste your scent nor feel your sweetness anymore. Once you go, you can't come back. And now there's nothing but emptiness, empty sheets, empty hearts. And it's times like these that keep me thinking about how uncertain life is and how you can loose everything you love in a matter of seconds. It doesn't matter how many times the plot twists, the film keeps going on. Life keeps going on as well. But moving on right now? That's unbearable. There's too much unsaid, too much undone and too many memories haunting me. I loose myself in them now I can't loose myself in you. And it will never be the same, these memories will never replace you. They will never occupy the hole you left in my heart when you flew away to the sky. And I don't care if minutes, hours, days, months or years go by, I'll always feel you here and I'll always stand by you even if you're no longer standing here with me. I will always love you and I hope you'll guide me when I'm lost. You always were and always will be my shining star.

regret(less)

There are always things in life you'd like to change, little things that make you want to go back and undo the things you've done and say what you haven't but should have said, little things that would change your whole life now. But when times were young you were not brave enough to speak your heart out, to claim what you really wanted, what you really needed. And now you can do nothing but regret. Regret is such a bittersweet feeling, isn't it? The uncertainty of what could've happened and didn't and the fear of being missing out the whole time. But would you really change the past? Or do things happen because it's all planned somehow? Is there such thing as fate? Life goes on, time goes by and we move on. Maybe there's a reason for all that, a simple one. After all there is no room for complicated theories, no room to think everything to the detail. There's only room for now. And now is here. Live it.

Too many bad minutes

Today is one of those days I don't even feel like smiling. I'm too tired, physically and psychologically. Waking up too early and having to deal with tough situations don't really combine well. But I guess we all feel this way sometimes, like nothing is going the way we want to and like we'd better stay put than even worsening the feeling. "Every cloud has a silver lining" but today there were no clouds, only a damn dark sky. I thought that now I'm home it would all be easier and that I would be able to focus on the good side of life but it's really hard sometimes. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling differently. At least I hope to.